TABARAKALLAH!

Out-y Five Thout-y

2008-03-30T22:00:00.000-07:00

That does it! I am outta here, ya'll. If you love me (and I know you do) meet me in the casbah!

www.tabarakallah.wordpress.com

I reserve the right to return (you will be duly warned beforehand of course) to return here if wordpress drives me crazy or something equally evil like deleting all of my previous posts.... That can't really happen, can it?

See you on the other side....

Shall I Stay or Shall I Go?

2008-03-28T05:03:00.000-07:00

Wordpress seems much more functional than blogspot so I am over there trying to feel my way through their program. This one is easier and more convenient but lacks alot of extra stuff. I don't know what I'm going to do yet, though.

Obama is The Knock-Kneed Abysinnian..

2008-03-26T12:08:00.000-07:00

And I don't mean that as a racial slur either. But why else would the American-Powers-That-Be allow a black man to be President. Don't tell me that all of a sudden they are growing a conscience or that he is just the "right man for the job." Noone even knew who he was a few years ago. When Jesse "the-question-is-moot" Jackson ran, all hell broke loose, and in my mind he was far more credible.

So what's up with that? Prophet prophesied that the Kaba would be destroyed close to the time of the hour. In an excerpt from Tafsir Ibn Kathir, it reads:

The two Sahih's recorded that Abu Hurayrah said that the Messenger of Allah
(saw) said: " The Ka'bah will be destroyed by Dhus-Sawiqatayn (literally, a
person with two lean legs) from Ethiopia." Also, Ibn Abbas said that the
Prophet(saw) said: "As if I see him now: a black person with thin legs
plucking thestones of the ka'bah one after another." Al-Bukhari recorded
this hadith.

Not that it matters so much, as we do not worship the Ka'bah. But it seems a
bit interesting and makes you wonder how soon before we actually see the
appearance of the dajjal.

Introducing.....The Muslim Popsicle!!!

2008-03-26T10:31:00.000-07:00

I should have known it wasn't a good idea when my husband happily chose work over spending what I considered "quality" time with our kids. I think I heard him laugh when he said "You can go if you want, but I have to work." (chuckle, chuckle)

I should have known it was a bad idea when I realised at the last minute he had took the car with him to work and left me with the problem of finding a ride for me and all six of our kids to go. Who has room in their car for that many people? I ended up having to ask two different sisters to each take half of us, leaving the "Teen Queen", the "Love Bug" and the "Samurai" home to wait, while I drive off with the other three boys (who I have yet to dub with nick names so just bear with me on that).

I should have known it was not a good idea to go when the buttons on my abayah kept popping open (which drives me crazy) making me feel half dressed (having a BHD- Bad Hijab Day) and self conscious.

I should have known but I went anyway.... trust your instincts people it's a good thing.

Our masjid had a family picnic and it was as cold as (h.e.double hockey-sticks).

I was literally freezing and shaking. We got there (on top of a mountain no less) and I spread out a few blankets on the hillside, preparing to offer my salat and sit and listen to the lectures that they were about to give and noticed some of my body parts going numb. I made the takbir, made ruku then sudjood and prostrated..... in a puddle of water. The grass was saturated. So now I am WET and freezing and shaking. I am now forced to pray on the hard ground which happens to be in the shade. Cold-Sun = Colder. What kind of concentration in prayer can you have while looking like a break dancer? I was shaking that hard.

I convinced some other popsicles, I mean sisters to help me move a picnic table into the sun and we all sat huddled and shivering there trying to eat (cold food) and listen to the remembrance of Allah. It was 40 degrees and dropping fast. We gave new meaning to the words "Sisterhood and Unity," as we hugged each other and rubbed each others hands and tried to share as much bodyheat as we could spare. Did I mention that they also gave away free ice cream as well? It's hard for me (a natural born conspiracy theorist) not to believe that someone was doing this to us on purpose. Perhaps some FBICIA agent was hiding in the trees getting a good laugh at our expense.

The kids had a wonderful time though. The lecture was amazingly good and my husband laughed at us all when he got home from work.

The Odd Couple...

2008-03-25T08:52:00.000-07:00

I really want to help my husband find another wife. I know that sounds crazy. But I'm serious. And before everyone jumps all over me, let me explain why. My HB is a great guy. Strong yet sensitive. Attentive and intelligent. Allah really blessed us to have a wonderful marriage, beautiful kids and many, many historical (and most of the time hysterical) experiences together. I don't doubt that he loves me and the kids (we have 6). He loves and fears Allah and provides for us nicely. But he wants another wife. Always has.

So I approached a few sisters. Ones that I thought were strong in their Islam. Sisters that I felt were suited to our family, who would want to remain sisters after the marriage and could see us all as one big happy family.

It hasn't worked out yet.

There was some jealousy there during the sit downs. But he would always do something nice for me like take me to my favorite restaurant (without the kids which was a treat)and by me a gift and we would talk about how it went over coffee and dessert. He says he doesn't want to do it if it isn't right for us both and he doesn't want to remarry only to be divorced again shortly after due to drama. And he says he definitely doesn't want to lose me in the process. The objective is to add on to our tribe, not destroy what we've worked so hard to build. And I agree.

But it hasn't happened yet. Part of me is kinda glad and another part can't wait for it to be done and over with... and I'm not asking anyone anymore, just waiting to see what happens next.

Say My Name...

2008-03-19T20:39:00.000-07:00

Notice to inlaws, school officials, doctors, nurses and every person that was not previously mentioned but falls under this particular category. If you can successfully pronounce:

Jagermiester

Schlitz

Courvoisier

Alize

Or words like...

acute peritonsillar abruptio placentae

phyenylketonuria

Schizophreniform Histrionic Cyclothemic Disorder

And...

Lamborghini Marcielago

Peugeot Coupe Cabriolet

Then you CAN pronounce my children's names.... you know you can!!!

Views on Polygyny, pt.2

2008-03-19T13:59:00.000-07:00

I didn't mean to rile anyone up with any statements and trust me whatever opinion that I now hold, has come from deep soul-searching within myself.

I am not talking about sisters who are married to "dogish" men. I am talking about when you have a loving, intelligent, responsible, god-fearing husband. All of that benefit doesn't stop with polygyny. A man doesn't stop loving you because he has another wife.

You are correct that it is your right not to stay in a polygynous marriage. And some polygynous marriages can go awfully wrong, no doubt. But for those that enter and stick it out, what makes a woman stay and share her husband with another woman. This is the big question that we are seeing even in the news today.

Women are staying because they value the relationship. It doesn't matter that he has or wants another wife, as long as he is treating us right. Women date married men and stay in relationships for years. At least in Islam, it comes with the honor of marriage and responsibility.

Really Bad analogy: If a woman had an oppurtunity to have a relationship with someone like say Will Smith or some big name like that, he agrees to set you up, take care of you and confesses his undying love to you, would you do it (in the dunya not islam) the only catch being, he doesn't want to leave his wife. Most women would do it. How many times does a man like Will come along. He's rich, handsome, he's powerful in the public arena.... big perks.Well, to me a man who fears Allah, sacrificing himself everyday to please Allah, working hard to maintain me and our children in Islam, this is more noble an aim in my eyes, this is more worthy to be supported. And wanting for my sister what I want for myself. I want another sister to be able to benefit from the same security that I have, the same support.

And lastly, Are we really better than our mothers? The prophet had nine wives. Other sahabah of the prophet (saw) had multiple wives. Are we better than them? Is there not a need for the men of our communitites to take care of the women? The prophet said there will come a time when there will be 40 women to every one man.

It's definetly a choice. I just hope for my sisters not to be too knee-jerk in their reactions, dismantling their families and causing more harm than is necessary to their children. Every situation is not prfect or will be successful, but with the proper intention and efforts to make things work from all parties, it could be in the end a fulfilling relationship.

Views on Polygyny....

2008-03-19T00:46:00.000-07:00

This is taken from a comment I made over here...

...This coming from a woman who is in agreement with polygyny. I fell in love with my husband in only a way that Allah can produce. We did not know each other at first but were married in a traditional, islamic way. I would love to be my husbands one and only but because of my love for him I agreed to allow him to marry again. Out of his love for me, he agreed not to do this until we both were prepared for it emotionally and financially. Meaning that there were no problems between us and we both were ready to support one another through it. When you love someone, you support them in what they want to do, even if he thought that not being with me was best for him, I would not want to be the cause of his pain.

Unfortunately, us woman veiw our men in a sense of ownership. You are mine! We do not value the works that our men do in maintenance and kind treatment, we want blood. Denying our men polygyny is more than not sharing the marital bed, it's saying I want you to immortalize in my own mind that I am your everything, there will be no challenge to my beauty, intelligence, skills or rank in this marriage, you only have eyes for me.

It is the man's nature to be polygynous. It is a challenge for him to juggle the responsibilities of more than one household, more than one relationship. Kinda like being a CEO. If you are good at business, why only own one. Or a gardener, he tills his soil and plants the seed and admires his yield, why plant only one variety? Does the love of roses diminish ones love of daisies?

Love is a two-way street and lovers must meet somewhere in the middle.

Homesick...

2008-03-18T10:52:00.000-07:00

I am trying not to get depressed, to not give up hope. I keep telling myself that Allah is sufficient, but the shaitan whispers to me that maybe my sins will prevent my prayers from being answered. But I have faith in Allah that he wll relieve me of my stress and give me what I ask. Or even better than that. I lived in a muslim country for 3 years and it became my home. I was very content there, spoiled by the public calls of prayer and the unabated, uncompromising wearers of hijab. I had begun to learn arabic language, my children were happy and at peace. Now I don't know why I left. I know my reasons were important at the time. I assumed that what I had to do would take months. It's going on close to a year now.

When I first came back here to america, I was culture shocked. The fast pace, the rudeness, the consumerism. I felt so strange. My kids asked me every week when were we leaving. I always thought that they missed here, missed the burgers, walmart, toys-r-us, ect. But surprisingly they were disgusted by the lack of what we all miss... Islam.

Ana sa arja'u qareeban insha'allah.

Don't Take My Word For It...

2008-03-18T09:31:00.000-07:00

This is an excellent, educatedly presented lecture concerning the obligation of hijab.

Your Mother!!.... Was a Hijabi...

2008-03-15T17:33:00.000-07:00

HIJAB... Its Not Just For Muslims...

2008-03-15T15:22:00.000-07:00

It astounds me how critical non-muslims are concerning hijab. They pretend that they are not aware of the commandment to wear hijab does not occur in their own scriptures. For example, in corinthians there is a very clear injunction to wear hijab there:

"11:2 I praise you 1 because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions just as I passed them on to you. 11:3 But I want you to know that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, 2 and God is the head of Christ. 11:4 Any man who prays or prophesies with his head covered disgraces his head. 11:5 But any woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered disgraces her head, for it is one and the same thing as having a shaved head. 11:6 For if a woman will not cover her head, she should cut off her hair. But if it is disgraceful for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, she should cover her head. 11:7 For a man should not have his head covered, since he is the image and glory of God. But the woman is the glory of the man. 11:8 For man did not come from woman, but woman from man. 11:9 Neither was man created for the sake of woman, but woman for man. 11:10 For this reason a woman should have a symbol of authority 3 on her head, because of the angels. 4 11:11 In any case, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. 11:12 For just as woman came from man, so man comes through woman. But all things come from God. 11:13 Judge for yourselves: Is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? 11:14 Does not nature 5 itself teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace for him, 11:15 but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering. 6 11:16 If anyone intends to quarrel about this, we have no other practice, nor do the churches of God." (courtesy of NETBible.org)

Pretty deep hunh? Along with that, it is well documented that women of nobility and honor veiled themselves when going about. Their heads were covered and upon meeting a man, during some eras, women would hide their faces behind a fan. The more noble the woman, the more she was hidden. It was the loose women, the servants and maids who wore more revealing clothing. The women of ill-repute as they say began a renassance in the early twenties after the first world war, shortening hemlines and intermingling with men. Not to bore you with a bunch of historical blah, blah... take a look at examples of women's dress from various ages...

The islamic ones fit right in don't they?
I found this one on the web also... too cute!

Who was the biggest, most famous hijabi of all.... why your mother of course!

My Ummah, Con'td

2008-03-14T21:22:00.000-07:00

If you thought my "Ummah," posts were interesting, you may be interested in this entry on a sister's blog I stumbled across. She expressed the sentiment much more eloquently than I did, masha'allah...

Haven't read all of her posts but this one I definetly could relate to.

Any Questions?

2008-03-14T21:16:00.000-07:00

Can You Sell Your Kids To The Circus?

2008-03-14T18:31:00.000-07:00

You know, I always thought that as my children got older, my job would become easier and easier. What a joke! Older kids are messier, sassier and du-uhm...more mentally challenged (wink, wink) than younger kids. Just the other day my teenage daughter was ironing our niqabs, in a hurry to go shopping with her father. The Teen Queen as she will be referred to heretofore in this alleged incident (and other areas of my blog) finishes mine and places it over the back of a chair. As I am tying the thing on, I am greeted by a strange smell.

My fellow niqabis know what I'm talking about. How many times have you put on your niqab and smelled the smell. Kinda reminiscent of cat breath.

Me: "Ew, what is that smell?"

TTQ: "What smell?

Me: "I don't know. (sniff, sniff) Some weird smell. Smells like cat breath."

As I turn for the febreeze (that I make myself with fabric softener and water. Try it girls you'll like it) I hear a bloodcurdling scream followed by peals of unrestrained laughter.

You can only guess what she does if you live with a being of the "teen" persuasion. Yes, she smelled the hot, steaming iron.

I mean she was cracking up. My husband looks around in a panic asking what happened. All I could do was stand there looking at her in incredulity (yes I can still use big words after 6 kids and 6 c-sections.... that's another post though). I guess she thought that since she had just ironed the niqab, maybe the suspect smell came from the iron. Shes lucky she didnt burn her nose off.
'
I only regret that I didn't catch it on camera and publish it on youtube.com.

I Could Have Told You That....

2008-03-12T22:16:00.000-07:00

No wonder we are in the state we are in today...

A New Attitude..

2008-03-12T21:32:00.000-07:00

After spending countless hours reading the blogs of others (we'll post something on the symptoms and treatments for Internet Addiction later) I discovered that 15 million bloggers had MY template..... (how dare they!?!) So I packed my stuff and moved out! (sort of) Well, really I just picked a different template, a new, BOLDER, Beautiful-er, Better-er template...... as you can obviously see. (blink, blink) How ya likes me now?

Homesick!!

2008-03-12T18:15:00.000-07:00

Where I am now....

Where I long to be...

I pray soon, Insha'allah...

My Ummah, pt.2

2008-03-10T18:38:00.000-07:00

Just to clarify a bit on my last post. I am not against the dawah, I still consider myself salafi, I am not against scholars or scholarship. But I just don't understand a few points:

Where are our communities? If there are viable, working productive communities out there please a comment, because I'm sure most of us want and need to know where they are.
Why did the Prophet (saw) refuse to name or attack the hypocrites who existed amongst the companions? "I would not want my enemies to say, Muhammad kills his own followers." The personal attacks and slander campaigns of muslims who were trying to spread the dawah has done nothing but kill our unity and destroy our effectiveness as a dawah, has it not?
If I have to fight everyday to wear hijab, pray in public and homeschool my kids, why did we not all fight collectively to keep our communities together. People sacrificed so much to build these centers and masjids, weren't they worth fighting for?

On a communal scale as well as a global one, we have let each other down. We have shown that all we can do as an ummah is hide our heads in the sand. I seriously do not see what good came from it all. Do you?

My Ummah, My Ummah...

2008-03-10T11:16:00.000-07:00

Bismillah,

My people are in pain. We have been hurting for so long it makes you wonder... will we ever heal? It used to be us against the world. We were envied, respected, talked about and joined. Now we just grieve.

I became Muslim when I was 20 years old. I had searched the globosphere of religion and belief and stumbled upon my greatest love...Islam. I was fortunate to read and study the Quran and Sahih Bukhari before I ever entered a masjid. I bought book, after book and for two glorious years was not tainted in my perspective by any group, sect or party. I was in love, I never wanted to be anything else except Allah's maidservant and a champion of my people.

Then I became salafi.

The salafi dawah echoed what I believed, worship Allah according to his book the Quran and the statements of the prophet muhammad, and the righteous community that followed after him who practiced the same. We were taught to be studious (which in turn became our downfall) to hear and obey, and to emulate the righteous in our dress, attitudes and worship.

I still believe in that way. But salafiyyah (the practitioners of it) failed me.

Just when I thought we were strong, just when I thought we were upon greatness, we were struck down from beneath. The very issues that we were taught to avoid were the very things we fell into and suffered because of.

Backbiting, tale-carrying, spying: Allah forbid us from this in surah al-hujurat. Khatibs and Imams extolled to us the evils of this practice from the minbars weekly. Yet, a group sprung up amongst us, claiming to be of us, and the backbit and slandered and spied on until all of the trust of one muslim for another was destroyed.
Enmity, envy and lust for leadership: "and protect us from the evil of the envier when he envies." Everybody wanted to be an Imam, a scholar. Giving beneficial, religious lectures had started to be called "rocking the mic", "blacking-out" and "cutting-up." Everyone wanted to hold an audience, give a class, run a masjid, lead a community until the Imams who had been given this responsibility, were slandered, threatened and defamed. New masjid began to spring up and older, established masajid that had been pillars of the community, were abandoned and boycotted.
Splitting, division and abandonment: Masajid were abandoned and children pulled out of their schools, friendships were dissolved and families destroyed as a result. Distrust, suspicion and labeling ate away at our communities until nothing was left except a naked, exposed and putrid shell of what it used to be.
Blind Following: The new era of "the sheikh said" arose. Verses of the quran and statements of the prophet were left off for "but the sheikh said". Our ummah was split into sections: scholars, students-of-knowledge, and laymen. The word laymen meant everybody who was too ignorant to understand the religion so were relegated to the statements and advice of the previous two categories. And with that, no matter how many years you had been Muslim, no matter if you understood the arabic language, tajweed or had memorized various sections of the quran, you could only be entered into the land of the knowledgeable by a select process that to the date of this writing has still not been made known.

So today, we are left with flailing communities that struggle to remain. Distrustful Muslims who either stay to themselves, neither benefiting or being benefited or hunt out the mistakes of every other Muslim in order to debase and defame them and push them into isolation. And in the meantime, our people are being killed, imprisoned, raped and murdered in almost every other country in the world. And we are so busy destroying ourselves that we can be of no help to anyone else. My ummah, My ummah! Will we ever be able to heal?

The Love Bug...

2008-03-07T23:25:00.000-08:00

Bug: "Ummie, I love you so much! Don't say it Ummie, please don't."

Me: "I love you more."

Bug: "I love you all the way to the moon."

Me: "I love you more than that."

Bug: "I love you all the way up to Allah."

Me: "I love you more."

Bug: "Ummie, there is no more. There's nothing after Allah. When I say I love you up to Allah thats it."

Me: "Okay, I love you the same as that."

A five year old's class on tawheed. We have this conversation almost every day. But she hates when I say I love you more because thats pretty hard to beat...until today....touche baby girl!

Say Something Good or Shut Up!!!

2008-03-07T21:27:00.000-08:00

Bismillah,

Me and the teen queen (my oldest daughter) went to Walmart together the other day. I was there to pick up some much need items (ice cream) and see if I could get her glasses fixed at the optical center there. After an extra long wait, I start to feel like maybe I'm waiting extra long on purpose. So I'm getting an attitude of course. But I wait patiently. There is a man looking at glasses on the other side of the room, he comes over and places a pair of frames on the counter and stands there to wait. Miraculously, a clerk comes out and *pretends* to be doing something at the desk where we are all standing.

Me: "Excuse me. Does someone normally work at this desk?"

Nasty Clerk Lady: "Yes. But we are all busy with other customers right now. Someone will be with you in a moment."

She then motions to one the other clerks to wait on the other guy with the frames. EXCUSE ME!! Now impatience is turning into fumes and fumes into flames. I was here first!! Keep it calm. Don't start any fitnah.

Nasty Clerk Lady (returning): "How can I help you?"

Me: "My daughter broke her glasses, do you do repairs here?"

Nasty Clerk Lady (taking the glasses and looking them over with a very weird smile on her face): "Yes we fix them but we're not responsible if they break."

Me: "Okay, about how much do you normally charge." Now we're getting somewhere.

Nasty Clerk Lady: "Oh no charge. But we're not responsible if they break."

Me: "Great. Do they look fixable?"

Nasty Clerk Lady: "Maybe. But we're not responsible if they break. You know we're not responsible if they break. If they break while we are attempting to fix them, we're not responsible."

Me: "Lady, they're already broke."

Nasty Clerk Lady: "Yes. But if they break we are not responsible." WHAT!!!!!

So it dawns on me that she doesn't WANT to fix them. Oh, ok! I take my daughters glasses back and we turn to leave the store. I am so upset by this time. I can't believe she made us wait, took someone ahead of us and basically refused to help us. Now, I am human. And unfortunately for me I was not born muslim. I mean I only took my shahadah what 15 years ago. All sorts of derogatory statements fell from my lips as we walked from the store to the car. Pregnant animal of the bovine variety, disbeliever endowed with a strong and unpleasant smell (this post has been edited for censored content...see title) unclean, disagreeable (I can't think of any more replacement comments for what I really said sorry).

The Teen Queen says "Ummie, that's not nice. You're not supposed to say things like that."

Me: "Why not? She's just a kafirah. Did you see how nasty she was being to us? I should have said it to her face."

Teen Queen: "No, Ummie that's not right. You shouldn't say those things." How dare she take up for her. I mean she wronged us. I have a right to vent my frustrations right?

So we get home and I break out the book Riyadhus Saliheen by Imam An-Nawawi. This book is excellent for daily study. It covers so many vital points in the life, worship and character of the muslim. Each chapter starts with verses of the Quran and then gives the statements of the Prophet Muhammad on the particular subject. I want proof for my position that you can say whatever you want to a kafir. But what I found was this:

50:18 "Not a word does he (or she) utter, but there is a watcher by him ready (to record it)."

#1511 "Narrated Abu Hurairah (radi'Allahu anhu) Allah's messenger said "He who believes in Allah and the last day must either speak good or remain silent." (muslim)

#1520 "Narrated 'Uqbah bin Amir (radi"Allahu anhu) I asked Allah's messenger "How can salvation be achieved?" He replied " Control your tongue, keep to your house, and weep for your sins." (at-tirmidhi)

#1734 "Narrated Ibn Masud (radi' Allahu anhu) Allahs messenger said: "A true believer does not taunt or curse or abuse or talk indecently." (at-tirmidhi)

Well how you like that. So I sat the kids down and gave them a short talk on the blessings of controlling the tongue and made a mental note to thank Allah for blessing me with such astute kids that do not hesitate to correct me and remind me of his pleasure.

Off to The Races!!!

2008-03-07T12:35:00.000-08:00

Bismillah,

Well, I tried not to do it. I said I wouldn't. I was content with just being a vouyuer if you will (is that how you spell it?). But the idea pulled and tugged at me until I gave in. Here I am. Standing at the gates (wondering how and why I am here). I am officially BLOGGING!!! Woo Hoo.... So now what?

A little about me I guess. I am a mother of 6, married (been meaning to get that "I married a lug nut" t-shirt made) and muslim, not in that order. My life is really not that interesting (which is probably why I'm blogging). But we have our moments.

I am (excuse me while I puke) american. I converted to islam when I was 21. Definetely the best choice I ever made. I have traveled to many different places and still not reached the place I'd like to be. I have a teenaged daughter, 4 sons and a little princess who thinks she's 35. All names will be changed in this blog to protect the innocent, prevent lawsuits and basically not embarrass my husband who would probably kill me if anyone knew who we really are.

Stay tuned, maybe someone out there will benefit from my meager efforts...