Introducing.....The Muslim Popsicle!!!

I should have known it wasn't a good idea when my husband happily chose work over spending what I considered "quality" time with our kids. I think I heard him laugh when he said "You can go if you want, but I have to work." (chuckle, chuckle)

I should have known it was a bad idea when I realised at the last minute he had took the car with him to work and left me with the problem of finding a ride for me and all six of our kids to go. Who has room in their car for that many people? I ended up having to ask two different sisters to each take half of us, leaving the "Teen Queen", the "Love Bug" and the "Samurai" home to wait, while I drive off with the other three boys (who I have yet to dub with nick names so just bear with me on that).

I should have known it was not a good idea to go when the buttons on my abayah kept popping open (which drives me crazy) making me feel half dressed (having a BHD- Bad Hijab Day) and self conscious.

I should have known but I went anyway.... trust your instincts people it's a good thing.

Our masjid had a family picnic and it was as cold as (h.e.double hockey-sticks).

I was literally freezing and shaking. We got there (on top of a mountain no less) and I spread out a few blankets on the hillside, preparing to offer my salat and sit and listen to the lectures that they were about to give and noticed some of my body parts going numb. I made the takbir, made ruku then sudjood and prostrated..... in a puddle of water. The grass was saturated. So now I am WET and freezing and shaking. I am now forced to pray on the hard ground which happens to be in the shade. Cold-Sun = Colder. What kind of concentration in prayer can you have while looking like a break dancer? I was shaking that hard.

I convinced some other popsicles, I mean sisters to help me move a picnic table into the sun and we all sat huddled and shivering there trying to eat (cold food) and listen to the remembrance of Allah. It was 40 degrees and dropping fast. We gave new meaning to the words "Sisterhood and Unity," as we hugged each other and rubbed each others hands and tried to share as much bodyheat as we could spare. Did I mention that they also gave away free ice cream as well? It's hard for me (a natural born conspiracy theorist) not to believe that someone was doing this to us on purpose. Perhaps some FBICIA agent was hiding in the trees getting a good laugh at our expense.

The kids had a wonderful time though. The lecture was amazingly good and my husband laughed at us all when he got home from work.

The Love Bug...

Bug: "Ummie, I love you so much! Don't say it Ummie, please don't."

Me: "I love you more."

Bug: "I love you all the way to the moon."

Me: "I love you more than that."

Bug: "I love you all the way up to Allah."

Me: "I love you more."

Bug: "Ummie, there is no more. There's nothing after Allah. When I say I love you up to Allah thats it."

Me: "Okay, I love you the same as that."

A five year old's class on tawheed. We have this conversation almost every day. But she hates when I say I love you more because thats pretty hard to beat...until today....touche baby girl!

Say Something Good or Shut Up!!!

Bismillah,

Me and the teen queen (my oldest daughter) went to Walmart together the other day. I was there to pick up some much need items (ice cream) and see if I could get her glasses fixed at the optical center there. After an extra long wait, I start to feel like maybe I'm waiting extra long on purpose. So I'm getting an attitude of course. But I wait patiently. There is a man looking at glasses on the other side of the room, he comes over and places a pair of frames on the counter and stands there to wait. Miraculously, a clerk comes out and *pretends* to be doing something at the desk where we are all standing.

Me: "Excuse me. Does someone normally work at this desk?"

Nasty Clerk Lady: "Yes. But we are all busy with other customers right now. Someone will be with you in a moment."

She then motions to one the other clerks to wait on the other guy with the frames. EXCUSE ME!! Now impatience is turning into fumes and fumes into flames. I was here first!! Keep it calm. Don't start any fitnah.

Nasty Clerk Lady (returning): "How can I help you?"

Me: "My daughter broke her glasses, do you do repairs here?"

Nasty Clerk Lady (taking the glasses and looking them over with a very weird smile on her face): "Yes we fix them but we're not responsible if they break."

Me: "Okay, about how much do you normally charge." Now we're getting somewhere.

Nasty Clerk Lady: "Oh no charge. But we're not responsible if they break."

Me: "Great. Do they look fixable?"

Nasty Clerk Lady: "Maybe. But we're not responsible if they break. You know we're not responsible if they break. If they break while we are attempting to fix them, we're not responsible."

Me: "Lady, they're already broke."

Nasty Clerk Lady: "Yes. But if they break we are not responsible." WHAT!!!!!

So it dawns on me that she doesn't WANT to fix them. Oh, ok! I take my daughters glasses back and we turn to leave the store. I am so upset by this time. I can't believe she made us wait, took someone ahead of us and basically refused to help us. Now, I am human. And unfortunately for me I was not born muslim. I mean I only took my shahadah what 15 years ago. All sorts of derogatory statements fell from my lips as we walked from the store to the car. Pregnant animal of the bovine variety, disbeliever endowed with a strong and unpleasant smell (this post has been edited for censored content...see title) unclean, disagreeable (I can't think of any more replacement comments for what I really said sorry).

The Teen Queen says "Ummie, that's not nice. You're not supposed to say things like that."

Me: "Why not? She's just a kafirah. Did you see how nasty she was being to us? I should have said it to her face."

Teen Queen: "No, Ummie that's not right. You shouldn't say those things." How dare she take up for her. I mean she wronged us. I have a right to vent my frustrations right?

So we get home and I break out the book Riyadhus Saliheen by Imam An-Nawawi. This book is excellent for daily study. It covers so many vital points in the life, worship and character of the muslim. Each chapter starts with verses of the Quran and then gives the statements of the Prophet Muhammad on the particular subject. I want proof for my position that you can say whatever you want to a kafir. But what I found was this:

• 50:18 "Not a word does he (or she) utter, but there is a watcher by him ready (to record it)."



• #1511 "Narrated Abu Hurairah (radi'Allahu anhu) Allah's messenger said "He who believes in Allah and the last day must either speak good or remain silent." (muslim)



• #1520 "Narrated 'Uqbah bin Amir (radi"Allahu anhu) I asked Allah's messenger "How can salvation be achieved?" He replied " Control your tongue, keep to your house, and weep for your sins." (at-tirmidhi)



• #1734 "Narrated Ibn Masud (radi' Allahu anhu) Allahs messenger said: "A true believer does not taunt or curse or abuse or talk indecently." (at-tirmidhi)

Well how you like that. So I sat the kids down and gave them a short talk on the blessings of controlling the tongue and made a mental note to thank Allah for blessing me with such astute kids that do not hesitate to correct me and remind me of his pleasure.